well it’s been one year since chris came home from deployment. when i think back to that period of time, it is still hard to believe he was gone for 15 months. what is “normal” for us has changed numerous times in the last few yrs. a year ago, normal for me was grocery shopping for one, eating most of my meals in bed while watching girly tv, and hanging out at friends houses all the time. i was on my own, completing numerous house projects and pretty much living a single life, even though i had a husband somewhere far away. when chris came home, many people had questions. how things have changed? would you do it again? do you have any regrets? was it easy? i think at first it was hard to really have a clear perspective on the everything, but now that it’s been a year i look back smile at just how crazy an experience it was. to answer those questions simply though, i have zero regrets. however,  i would not necessarily say that i would want to do it again. i am glad he got to do something he believed in and i fully supported him in that, but i think once was enough for me. of course, never say never, right? :)

we have a new normal. one that is much different from before he left. though it’s hard to say what has changed due to deployment, and what has changed simply because we are growing up! in the beginning in his first weeks home, i remember feeling very protective when chris would try to do certain chores at home. i wanted to slowly include him in the day to day tasks (which they recommend you do), however only the ones i was comfortable with him helping with. i remember one day when he picked up the mail for me. and almost instantly i had a strange reaction…i didn’t like it and i didn’t want him to do that again. though i didn’t realize why i had that strange reaction at first…i eventually realized that in my mind, if he picked up the mail, he would go through the bills. and if he went through the bills, then he would start paying them. and if he started paying them, he would want to be the one to do the monthly budgeting, and if he took over monthly budgeting that means he would want to take over handling all our family finances…and then i started to panic. i am the one who handles our household budget and billpaying. it’s a role that i took on when he left, and it was one i felt very protective over giving back. plus…i just love doing it! and so what to him was just “picking up the mail” turned into me feeling like i was losing control over everything and him looking like a confused husband married to a wife with two heads. long story short, over time we re-established our roles in our relationship and our home. (i still am in charge of our family finances!).  the roles we have now are much different than we had before he left. what seems important now is no longer the same as before. our goals in life now are much different than they were 2yrs ago. our saturday nights continue to look more and more like pizza at home while watching movies… in bed by 10.  i would say the entire experience made us stronger, and made me stronger. living on my own was a wonderful experience (even though my cousin had to come to my house at 10pm at night once to make sure i didn’t have a person living in my attic. and there was that one time all chris’ friends came over and saved me when the basement completely flooded…) and one that i would never take back. all the travel i got to do with girlfriends were priceless experiences i will forever cherish. and there is nothing like having your husband in a war zone to make you realize just how much you miss him, his homemade scrambled eggs, and the smell of his laundry.

so yes, one year later and a lot has changed…

and speaking of change, it looks like things are only going to keep changing around here….

looks like we will be adding a third woltering to the household! let the crazy adventures continue….. :)

(14wks, baby woltering due january 2014.)